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Sit​-​Down Comedy

by Nolto & Dren

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    High-bias cassette tape, including all instrumentals on Side-B. Only 54 copies available. ***Contact Nolto before ordering; inventory is running low***

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Very limited run of CDs with clear jewel-case and artwork by 319heads.

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 16 Nolto releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of TikTok Make-Up Tutorial Song, The Gumshoe Strut / Nolto & Dren - Split, from Saskatoon to Winnipeg 2000​​-​​2008 Rap V1, Sit-Down Comedy, Sleeping Shirts / Common Good, SADS (Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome), Scott Free... Red Handed, Noltferatu & Drencula, and 8 more. , and , .

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1.
This isn't stand-up or stand-out. This is careful. This is planned out. I sing about honesty. Sit-Down Comedy. Fuck a call and response, it fucks with the rhythm. When I say "hey," you shut the fuck up and listen. When I say "ho," you take a seat and take notes. Never go out two nights in a row in the same clothes.
2.
I'm not a player, I just strike out a lot Hi, my pick up lines are the worst kind First I ask about her name and then I blurt mine I'd Like to think I flirt fine, but that's not the case My seductive look is the same as my awkward face So I told her tell that I wish I was dream catcher So I could catch her... Right? Off guard. Like what the fuck does that mean? She explains that what I'm saying is that she's a bad dream You should see me when I'm not half passed out drunk, You should see me when I'm not myself You should see me at someone else's best, a good night's rest might help You should see me in the morning, not hungover You should see me when I'm sober When I'm acting my age or when i act older you should hear what I told her "I masturbate to the thought of you" was a really creepy thing to say "I masturbate to the thought of you" is a really creepy thing to say I've got things more important to do Than to simply have a can of orange soda on you Not for what I really am You should see me not for what I really am I'd like to think I've got charm, but that's not the case I'm 37 and I'm going through an awkward phase I can talk at length. I can talk for days I sorta blew it, I over do it, in a lot of ways I never half-step, I over step steal Rodney's jokes and yet I get no respect So I told her that I don't have any shortcomings She should expect long comings You should see me when I'm funny Not just obnoxious You should see me in an office When my humility is flawless Looking awesome and accomplished when I'm not almost unconscious Dawson's Creek kind of popular Not falling off my feet when I talk to her Not for what I really am You should see me not for what I really am I scout for girls, you could call me a Girl Scout I don't remember where I live, let's go to your house. Not for what I really am You should see me not for what I really am So I ask her if it hurt, when she fell from heaven You mean like lucifer? Ya... Just like lucifer... Ya Confidence is sexy if you sell it right So you got a boyfriend... I'm not the jealous type Not for what I really am You should see me not for what I really am
3.
David Daniel 02:02
I'll never go to heaven. I'll never get invited. In the end, there are no big surprises In the end, our hearts are just different sizes. And the only god that we should recognize is the god that lives inside us. I've been defiant, of the holy church, cause a holy church is a den of lions. I am old Daniel. I will never be a ghost, I'll never live to try it. In the end, there are no big surprises. In the end, we'll all be resting in blissful silence. no amount of wishful science, can validate your christian giants. I've been defiant, of the one true god, cause a one true god is Goliath. I am young David. You're not persecuted. You're not the underdog. Though the words are stupid, it's one nation under god. So I am old Daniel. I am young David. Just think how dumb faith is when they say that he'll come to save us. I'll be defiant, of the one true god and the holy church of the simple minded. I am your neighbour lend me some Suge Knight.
4.
She took me to a dinner and movie I like my drinks bitter and boozey She stole a kiss, because she felt like stealing I'm about to lose control and I like the feeling It’s not her fault, I left it there She don’t give a god damn if heaven cares I’m drunk, She’s well aware, she’s Ginger Rogers, I’m Fred Astaire And I’m dancing on the ceiling Dancing on the walls Maybe I’m just dreaming And we didn’t have sex at all I forgive her, if she so cares I had asked for this, though only in my prayers she makes moves, moves are for making she takes advantage, advantages are for taking It’s not her fault, I left it there She don’t give a god damn if heaven cares I’m drunk, She’s well aware, she’s Ginger Rogers, I’m Fred Astaire And I’m dancing on the ceiling Dancing on the walls Maybe I’m just dreaming And we didn’t have sex at all I forgive her, if she so cares I had asked for this, though only in my prayers And I know, there’s no such thing and, yet, I provide retroactive consent She’s Audrey Hepburn. she saw my head turn And she can dance Motherfucker she can dance She can dance Around the issues She’s Lena Horne And I feel reborn By her songs that she sings motherfucker she can sing and when she does it feels like she kissed you She took control because she felt like taking she stole my heart, while my heart was racing it’s not her fault, I left it there, But it is her fault she took it I was drunk, she was well aware She’s ginger Rogers, I’m Fred Astaire
5.
Triangles 03:13
I have hurt myself before, a few gory, This is a true story I was Down by the river at the Mendel art Gallery, casually doing handrails on a snowboard. Oh lord. Oh lord what for? All I see are triangles telling me to yield, when all I really feel is maniacal All I see are triangles Telling me to slow, when all I want to go is in diagonals Legs shot out front, head fell back And slapped on the concrete slabs that were hard dude Like in the cartoons, With stars too Except they didn’t carousal a halo More like a "hey yo" “be careful with the payload” You wouldn’t want to break those they’d suppose And they’d be right. Way she goes, way she goes All I see are triangles telling me to yield, when all I really feel is maniacal All I see are triangles Telling me to slow, when all I want to go is in diagonals Winter 1997 diagnosed diabetic life tried to fuck me I tried to let it got stabbed by a drinking glass Quite pathetic stigmata stitches I’d protect it By wearing a stint made by a medic While snowboarding at blackstrap Dren brought oranges in his backpack We’ll come back to that We’re here to snowboard. With much less skill than I’d hoped for All I see are triangles Telling me to slow, when all I want to go is in diagonals All I see are triangles telling me to yield, when all I really feel is maniacal All I see are triangles Telling me to slow, when all I want to go is in diagonals Legs shot out front, arm fell back The only good arm I still had It Folded back, Broke in half literally in half. bones overlapped And That kinda humdinger Fucks wit yur blood sugar So come get your diabetic friend off the hill Then dren fed me the oranges From before the choruses And kept me alive again He was quite reliable All he sees is triangles Jason wants me to sell insurance through primerica, and he’s trying to tell me how it’s not a pyramid scheme, but... All I see are triangles
6.
Her pants are small, so her ass is gazed at by half the mall And I can’t understand why you can’t understand at all. ‘cause she’s smart and funny, but only collects the attention of the harshest dummies And I can’t really see why you never really saw it coming. You pretend to bring common sense on subjects mentioning That I can’t comprehend why you can’t comprehend a thing You're about to flop, she loved you once, so you doubt she'll stop I can't figure out how you can't figure out the plot She's been taken for granted, been taken advantage of you're probably right, that she wouldn't abandon love But, that's not this, of this, she's had enough You're less a husband and wife, than a couple who fights you're certainly finding the mercury's rising I watch the things you do, you’re such a fool Do you know your soul should be worth more to you? oh, weed and them dranks got your mind in a daze I see right through you and the games you play You might feel sad or remorse, but you're not sure, you never had a divorce and I guess it doesn't matter, cause now it's just a matter of course And you don't got kids, so you don't got a reason To visit, this is it. never an evening at home or ever, talking on the phone or a being alone together this'll go forever They may have won the lottery but when it comes to honouring each other they discover a need for a tough apology They may have won the foreplay But when it comes to war they Forget to pay respect and become young divorcees
7.
Sweet Cake 02:54
I can’t believe, the lies and deceit from a so called friend but I didn’t leave, go hide and retreat and I won’t fall in to the same mistake that I made before we’ll be playing war and I’ll be a spy and you’ll never know what I’m aiming for there isn’t anyone who hates you, like I do I put a poison in your cake, I hope you might die soon I could go to jail for a long time, it was crazy stupid But, like a gun to my head, the sweet music made me do it (Sweet music, soft and mellow, soothing and slow) I owe you that much, I loathe you that much I hope you start choking at lunch We used to be friends, that used to make sense I refuse to make amends But to your face I’ll call you homie while I plot and scheme to bury you alive in a hate shaped box to dream forever, every time I think of you dead I start feelin better and you can keep the sweater you stole you’ll never be whole you’ll never grow out of acting like a seven year old. I hope you get stricken, lots with chicken pox and lay awake praying that the itchin stops. I hope your kitchen's stocked, with that cake I gave you. (Sweet music, soft and mellow, soothing and slow) Fight me Fuck you Motherfucker, fight me. Fight me. Beat my face. steal my change. Fight me. Break my nose. Take my clothes. Fight me. Beat me up. Steal my stuff. Fight me. Break my bones. Take my phone. Fight me.
8.
Frayed Knot 04:35
I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm a Frayed Knot I led you to believe that I was something special But I am less reliable than rusting metal My brain is infested with fucking devils Marky Mark Hamill and the funky rebels You may have thought that I would hold your boat ashore Now it's lying on the ocean floor. It Doesn't matter what you were hoping for The door to disappointment is an open door I will let you down like a broken ladder Because my rope is tattered You may've thought that I would make a great rock But I'm a frayed knot I'm a frayed knot. I am not what they thought I am lesser. Easily broken when under pressure I already know that my tires will go flat I peaked in the 1980s like Bojack Horseman Of course man. I am your unjammable door jam your not to scale floor plan I am not more than a two bit joke, bandaid on a slit throat We can talk about causation, we can think about catalysts. Low expectations bring about happiness. But I will be worth less than ancient arts, out of date models no replacement parts A misunderstanding without letting you explain I'm a frayed knot, not a heavy duty chain If you misplace trust and think I must be stable I come in like wrecking ball on a rusty cable I'm a frayed knot. I am not what they thought I am lesser. Easily broken when under pressure I'm afraid.

about

Sit-Down Comedy is the new project from Nolto and Dren (fka The Write Brothers), a Saskatoon based Rapper-Producer duo who have been making music together for over two decades. This album presents both artists at their best. Dren seemlessly blends instrumentation, samples, and loops to create moods that are both uplifting and haunting. Nolto sticks to what he does best, catchy choruses and uncomfortable lyrics, while seemingly unable to decide between rapping and singing.

The lead single, "Ginger Rogers," is accompanied by a music video [https://youtu.be/DUUjAI3XIpU], featuring scenes from Fred Astaire's 1951 classic, "Royal Wedding." The scenes obviously fit the song perfectly, since the chorus was written about one particular scene: Fred Astaire dancing on the ceiling, in love.

The second single, "Frayed Knot," includes the album's only guest vocalists: Nolto's children (aged 5 and 7). Whereas, earlier in 2020, Nolto released a group project with Dayda Banks and Trill Monroe ("Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome" (SADS)), Sit-Down Comedy is a return to Nolto's more solitary song-writing style, with Dren perfectly accommodating each song's feel and theme.

All of the songs in Sit-Down Comedy have dark themes over melodic sing-alongs, touching on many serious subjects, including social masking, anti- theism, snowboarding poorly, the breakdown of young marriages, the hatred of a former friend, and imposter syndrome. All the while, the heavy topics are handled light-heartedly, with an almost inappropriate humour, and always with a great beat backing it.

Sit-Down Comedy is being released on Saskatoon Folk Rap Records (CAN) as well as Audio Recon (USA) and Pen Thief Records (GER).

credits

released November 5, 2020

Produced and mixed by Dren. Lyrics by Nolto. Recorded at Dahladay Studios, except for track 3, which was recorded at Factor G Studios. Track 8 includes guest vocals from Poppy and Merrick Hinz. Art and Design by 319 Heads.

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Nolto Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Nolto is a rapper, songwriter, lawyer, husband and father. He's also very uncool and dislikes most everything.

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